Episode 14 - What are you afraid of?

Identify and overcome your fear/s in this discussion on fear and its relationship to the health of your life. 

Transcript

Sediqa: 0:03

Welcome to the heal myself podcast, where you'll learn simple, easy, radical, mindful, and practical techniques to naturally heal yourself and achieve ultimate balance in your life fast. And now your host Sediqa Nargis Schuyler, the quantum healist.

0:30

Hello, and welcome to heal myself.life podcast. I'm your host. Sediqa Schuyler and I am so grateful that you are here for this very powerful and healing session. That is transformative. That is eye opening, mind expanding and extremely of course. Healing on your self healing journey. This session is also your second step into your self healing journey that will bring you much success. And of course, healing as well as balance. So let's talk about this who you are and what you do has at one point or another, been influenced by. fear is considered to be the most powerful emotion. And that is what we are going to talk about today. You are going to identify what your fear is exactly and how it has prevented you from achieving many of your goals, desires and overcoming as, as well, overcoming the challenges in your journey. Okay. Now fear is considered to be the most powerful emotion, even more powerful than love. Fear is commonly defined as a condition of being afraid of something or being worried about an outcome. We are often scared to try something new, even in our most undesirable circumstances, because we are creatures of habit. We adapt to our conditions. If those circumstances are hurting us because it's comfortable. We talked about this for many of us. We are afraid if we try something new, it may not work out and be worse than what we have. Now. The self doubt in us amplifies this fear and we worry about what could go wrong instead of focusing on what could go. Self doubt and fear lead hand in hand. They lead us to believe that the risk associated with trying something new is greater than the risk of remaining in our current situation. So this session will discuss from this point on what the different fears. and you could identify the fear and the self doubt that you have underlying causes of it, as well as what to do and the steps to take in order to overcome your fear. And this is your step number two into your self-healing journey, whether that be emotional, mental, physical relationship, or financial, all. so let's dive into fear. Fear is the most basic and yet powerful emotion. Some fears may be as a result of experiences or traumas. While others may actually represent a fear, um, of something else entirely, such as loss of control, fear affects the decisions you make, the actions you take, the outcomes you achieve. Fear is commonly defined as the condition of being of afraid of something or being worried about an outcome. And self-doubt is frequently described as a lack of confidence in yourself and your abilities most often do to fear, fear and self-doubt, or a common response to change. we talked about change embracing and welcoming, and why? Because it's the law of the universe to move and flow with change, especially now globally, since we are all experiencing the need to adapt and to become resilient and to adapt and to move forward. we are in a situation right now, um, globally, where we have to be extremely resilient again, adaptable, and we have to flex, we have to flex ourselves in order to make life, um, fulfilling, joyful blissful, uh, for us. And so. We have to move with change. Fear and self doubt are a common response to change. Change represents uncertainty. And you mostly do not like stepping out of your comfort zone since you are creatures of habit. So in our previous sessions, we talked about, um, we talked about, and we have, uh, we have practiced many, many, many activities. On becoming, uh, comfortable with change and flowing into change and becoming resilient. And this is also the other part of it. Therefore, most of you will naturally reject change when you're not comfortable with it to protect yourself from any perceived danger, like experiencing failure, abandonment, shame, and embarrass. many of us, even the most courageous infl and influential people face different fears every single day. And fear is not necessarily a bad thing from the moment you were born. You see, you are equipped with the survival instincts to necessary that are necessary to respond with fear when you sense danger or feel. It is in fact, hardwired in your brain for survival instincts. It's a normal part of the brain function to make you alert to the danger that you are facing and prepare you to deal with it as well. It signals you to survive harmful events to your physical, as well as psychological wellbeing. There are healthy fears and there are many unhealthy fears. And we're going to identify that. Why, because you are going to identify where your fear is, and it is the fear within you, the unhealthy fear within you that is preventing you in one way or many other ways from achieving the life that you. or even more powerfully in this case to make the changes necessary, to achieve a very fulfilling and aligned life with your soul, with your mind, body, and soul, with your purpose, whether that be spiritual or. so we're gonna go ahead and begin. Once we have identified your fear, what type of fear you have? We, um, I am going to talk about the impact that fear. Um, can have, or already has, maybe you can identify with that on your physical, emotional, and mental health and so, and social health. So we're gonna talk about the, uh, not so good aspects about fear after we have discussed the different types. Fears this way, you are going to become very aware of what is actually hindering. What's inhibiting, what's slowing down. What's delaying what obstacles what's ch what is challenging, really? Your. Y, um, your path in your, in your life, in this dimension, in this life, on this earth, in this planet and in this universe. So we are going to do that right now. Thank you. Thank you again for being here. Let's identify what is your fear? It could be one, two, or all five of them. It could. um, just one or it might be that miraculously, you have no unhealthy fear. So shall we fear of failure? This is your very first type of unhealthy fear. Fear of failure. What if I don't make it? What if it doesn't work out? Fear of failure can prevent you from moving forward to achieve your real goals. You are undermining your own efforts to avoid disappointment or failure. This type of fear is irrational and counterproductive. This fear can be a fear of failing in relationships, career competitions, school, education, um, social setting, anything most often, those who fear to. Have grown up in an overly critical and perfectionist family or environment, fear of failure is also because of the pain such failure might have on your ego. And the last thing that your, and the last thing that your ego would want to experience is. And it will avoid doing anything that it sees as risky as a person with a constant fear of failure. You may often make excuses for not wanting to take action towards your true passion. You might procrastinate. You might make all these justifications with enough practice, your excuses and justifications become a habit and habits become behaviors and your responses. Will lack confidence, drive and optimism, and remember energy flows where focus goes. So when you're not feeling confident, this is what, guess what your responses again, will lack confidence, drive optimism, and you will do things halfway, or I should say half ass when they. It is this type of fear that leads to a constant cycle of self doubt. So fear of failure, like what if, what if, what if there's gonna be so many what ifs, and you're gonna try to do a project so many times you're gonna delay everything because you are in self doubt mode, but you don't wanna say it out loud instead. You are always going to do things that is comfortable and easy for you. Now, the second type of fear is fear of rejection. what if my family and friends don't approve? What if my partner doesn't approve of my actions and then therefore they would not love me anymore. Fear of rejection. What if my family and friends don't approve of my actions and not love me anymore. Fear of rejection has a far reaching impact on our lives. Although not every person experiences, every impact, the fear of rejection. Tends to affect your ability to succeed in a, in a wide range of personal and professional situations, your fear rejection, when you fear rejection, it is because you have a low value and opinion of yourself. As a result, you look to others for cues to help you feel better about yourself. And so when you do that, you may experience that everyone. Sees you from a different lens, but you feel like you should be no matter what they are, the ones who are right. You don't want to be alone. And so you will mold yourself most likely to whatever their needs are. And you will always be in this cycle of being a, um, people pleaser. So most of us grow up, especially in our teen years, this is where our self esteem is extremely, uh, influenced by our peers and the need to be accepted. As a fear as a person, uh, with a fear of being rejected, you may often go out of your way to avoid confrontations. You might refuse to ask for what you really want or even speak up for what you need. A common tendency is to try to just shut down your own needs or pretend that they don't really matter. Also the fear of rejection often stops you from going after your dreams, because putting yourself out there is very frightening to you. It is actually frightening, um, for anyone to go out there, but most people just go and face there, um, fear. But you, if you are, if you have a fear of rejection, you may feel paralyzed and stuck in your life. You also, uh, whenever you want to travel the world, save, um, save the planet or ask the girl the, or the person next to you out, or, um, of whatever your wants and desires are. The fear of rejection may stop you from reaching your fullest potential. The fear of rejection leads to behaviors that make you appear insecure and overwhelmed. You might sweat shake, fidget, avoid eye contact art, and even lose the ability to communicate effectively. This type of fear also leads to constant cycle of self doubt. Like, Hey, what did I do wrong? Maybe if I asked differently, maybe if I just did what he or she wanted me to do, this would not have happened. Or, you know, most people with the fear of rejection or abandonment stay in a very unhealthy relationship thinking that. Will be a time that you will be accepted by that time. It might be too late because you have all, you have been in a cycle of constantly wanting to transform yourself for others. And therefore now our faced with, of. With the fear of not being good enough and more self doubt and not being able to identify who you really are. Now, the third type of fear, uh, fear is my least favorite. It's fear of abandonment. What if they leave me? If I make my own choices? What if they leave me, if I make my own choices, that's fear of abandonment, everyone experiences, fear of abandonment, and some fear it more consistently and intensely than others. This fear usually comes from past experiences of real losses, rejections, or traumas that, um, causes one to feel insecure and distrusting of distrusting of. Studies shows that, um, studies show that people with a fear of abandonment, um, abandonment often end up creating a pattern for themselves of always choosing partners who are emotionally unavailable and reject them. Now, there is, uh, that, uh, energy factor, remember energy flows, where focus goes. So whatever you resist, you force out, you resist, you actually attract it even more. And. The people that you will be attracting will be partners who are emotionally unavailable and will always reject you as a person with a fear of abandonment. You may worry that you will be rejected by your peers, teachers, partners, schools, companies, and all these social circles. You may experience loneliness and isolation all the time, thinking others often ignore. and not love you. This type of fear may also lead to a significant amount of damage to your self-confidence compromising your values, not pursuing your own dreams, engaging in unsafe activities to feel needed and wanted. This type of fear also leads to a constant cycle of self doubt because you do not value yourself. And you do not trust your decisions because everyone else is defining you through their lens, through their ex uh, um, experiences in life. But however, because you fear of fear that you might be abandoned and not loved, you might engage. in doing whatever it takes to, um, you know, satisfy them, fulfill them. Now the fourth fear type of fear is fear of uncertainty. I think most of us have that. I still sometimes find myself and the fear of uncertainty, but I have to like remind myself and I have to just go and listen. Either to myself or to someone else in order to, to my teachers, to my spiritual teachers, um, to all these different gurus that I follow to remind myself, uh, that it's okay. Not knowing the future. However, fear of uncertainty is, for example, when you ask yourself, how can I be certain, if it will work out for me, how can I make sure that nothing bad will ever happen to. because you are, um, scared of not knowing the outcome or the future of something. So fear of uncertainty is fearing. What could be an unknown outcome as a person who fears uncertainty, you are focused on making decisions that guarantee predictable results because predictable experiences make you feel very safe. You are most likely a very stressed and anxious person who likes to control every aspect of your life. And consistently, consistently gets disappointed when things do not turn out, as you expect it. Remember what we talked about, energy flows, where focus goes. So if you are scared of not knowing something, guess what, when you are scared your environ. Uh, in quantum physics, they call us the quantum field, meaning your outer environment, the field in which you draw things in is constantly on 24 hours a day, even when you're sleeping. And so what happens is, um, your quantum field will bring you more of, um, uncertainty, things that you can never know silly. Like what will happen if I don't make it? Well, you don't know, unless you try, unless you do something, you will never know what, if this person will not love me. Well, you won't know unless you try. No, no, no, but I need to know. I need to know exactly what to say to this person so I can exactly get them to do what I want them to do. So you. Complete control, freak, consistent disappointments lead to overwhelm and doubting your abilities. When you are a person of, um, being scared of uncertainty and such a fearful and self doubting person, you are always unwilling to expand to your fully fullest potential out of fear of failing and tend to choose the easy. Also you consist, you consistently search for flaws and focus on the negative aspects of everything rather than positives. Unfortunately, this type of fear steals. You steals your joy from living a life that is adventurous, passionate, creative, happy, authentic to your true self. Now this type of fear. Preventing you from living in the present. You see humans are, are experiences in life on earth is designed to move forward from your present state. So if your present state is constantly doubting, it constantly wants proof of things you are working from. Um, not from a ver uh, an energy of your soul or the energy of the source, the ultimate source. Um, some people call it God. Um, the ultimate source of the universe, you know, so you're not working from that space. You are working from a place of your biology, your body, meaning like your body has very little energy to. Uh, you know, if you're using it up to, um, to overcome, um, to heal yourself in most of the ways, the energy of your body itself is not as powerful because it has all these negative thoughts and all these thoughts and emotions, all these different things that it is, um, not being really controlled and. The energy of your body is, uh, not as powerful. So unfortunately this type of fear against deals, the joy out of your life. And it causes a lot of psychological, um, health problems by way, including anxiety and, uh, chronic stress. So, so the very last fear before we talk about. Um, effects and influences of fear, unhealthy fear on your body. So the very last fear is fear of not being good enough. I don't have what it takes, and there are so many other people who are much better than I am the fear of not being good enough, or the market is so saturated. What am I gonna do? Make another candle. Who's gonna buy my candles or who. there's so many other, uh, men or women, depending on what sex you're, you are, um, um, sexually orientation you identify with. And so you might say, oh, well, you know, well, this person seems to be, you know, So smart and so amazing. And why would he or she, um, choose me as a partner or I'm not smart enough to be with this person I'm not smart enough or I'm not good enough for this job, for this position, for this, for this entrepreneurship, for this. To be a good mom on all of this and that. So fear of not being good enough can prevent you from giving credit to your abilities, realizing your most significant potential in reaching for your highest potential or potentials. You allow others to make decisions on your own life instead of what you wish to do. Why because you fear, you do not know this one thing about how to fix a car and therefore you're stupid enough not to, to make any decisions on your relationships or, uh, on, on, uh, your careers and on your health, on your body, on anything as a person who fears not being good enough and not being worthy. You also seek approval and validation from others in Europe. Others in your abilities first, before you can trust and believe in them, yourself, this type of feel fear, excuse me, will further prevent you from achieving your fullest potential because you lack self-confidence lack of confidence gives you rise to never ending cycle of what? Oh yeah. That's right. Self doubt. Preventing Q from fully trusting in your ability, skills and strengths. And that will show because people. In businesses in, in relationships and everything, they will spot within 30 seconds of your existence in that event that you have very low self-confidence. In addition, you are persistently making unrealistic self comparisons and often avoid opportunities for growth. So. this can also lead to other people, other fears, and therefore attracting other types of relationships in your life where people constantly take advantage of you and make you feel even more shitty about yourself. Um, so it's honestly, everything is dependent on how you speak to yourself. Forget about speaking to others. It's all about your. It's about accepting what is true about your life and yourself. But if you're not doing that, you are not doing yourself any favors and. Okay, facing your fear can greatly help you. What you may have noticed from the, from all of these fears that we've listed, that I have listed for you and about self-doubt and fear itself is that all such fears were created based on your past experiences. In other words, your fears are learned as well as Condit. the only other fear that is not learned or conditioned is the biological fear, uh, fear that is hardwired in your brain to make you aware of the threats to your life. As with other fears that we've talked about, you, your past experiences from childhood. Build your foundation, your perception, your thoughts, your opinions, and ideas about life. Your thoughts then naturally became your belief system and your belief system became your behavior. Would you say that if you were to change your beliefs and opinions about your world would actually be a much safer and a happier place to live in? Becoming aware of your fears, identifying them helps you become very aware of what is hurting you emotionally, mentally, physically, socially, and career professionally. So once you become aware of what this fear is, then you just. Mindful exercises that I have provided for you, or, um, more mindful and intentional holistic, natural ways to heal yourself. And so you will consciously make a decision one. You will make decisions, hopefully from listening to this podcast on improving how you respond. How you react to a situation and how, uh, where in your body do you feel it we're gonna be doing exercises like that? Where in my body am I feeling this fear? Where is it hurting me emotionally, mentally, and physically. And so having identified all these five fears, would you say, identify which fear is. dominating your life, which fear is dominating your mornings, which fear is dominating, um, your relationships, which fear is dominating your career choices or your plans, your goals, your happiness, which plan, which fear is affecting you physically now. Um, Right now we are going to talk about further, a little bit more about, um, why it is important to overcome fear and whether your fears are real or perceived, they influence your entire. Mental emotional, physical, and, uh, professional. Um, your relationship, your academic wellbeing studies show that avoiding fear not only affects your career goals, relationships, social circles, and dreams, but can have severe consequences on your health. I'm gonna go ahead, go quickly through this list, um, of how fear. Affecting you in your health, how it is, um, impacting your life. And so, um, you can skip this apart and go right into the activities that I have created for you. One of the major steps that you can take today before we get into why it is important to overcome fear is to today, focus on. Identifying. What is your fear? What are your fears and how are they showing up in your life? Then the healing step that you can take the very first tiny little healing step that will make all the difference in the world is accepting. What is true about your life and yourself when it comes to fear. And then that in itself is a healing activation process and also deciding, Hey, you know what, I'm going, here's what I can do to not only overcome fear, but what is the step that I can take to overcome fear and how can I respond to it? And if it's, um, what is toxic in my life that is, uh, that I am choosing to be a part of. And how can I. Move forward. What are some things I can do? Whether that's breath, work, journaling, cutting out people or forgiving yourself, which is really huge, forgiving, forgiving yourself and others, and, uh, making peace with your past and present and making peace with who you truly are and where you are in your life. So start thinking about. Identifying your fears and how they're affecting you and what is true about every one of these fears that you have? What is true? What is not true and why this is, um, affecting you so much in your life? All right, now, let's continue. Why is it important to overcome fear? Whether your fears are real or perceived? We talked about they influence your entire mental, emotional, and physical and academics, uh, state. And so we are going to go through a list of ways that fear unhealthy fear is impacting your health. Longstanding fear can impair your long term memories ability and can damage. Certain parts of your brain. This can make it even more challenging to manage fear, leave you anxious. Most of the time, having anxiety and short, short term memory prevents you from focusing and learning effectively. It is often challenging to connect with and understand others when you are anxious long term fear. Unhealthy fear weakens your immune system, causing damage to your heart, stomach and reproductive system. More specifically fear causes coronary artery disease, which is referred to as CAD irritable bowel syndrome and premature death of a baby. Long term fear causes depression, post traumatic disorder, fatigue, and paranoia. It also weakens your muscles slows down digestion, imbalances hormones, because your memory is decreased and the level of anxiety is increased due to fear. It can cause attention deficit disorder, a D D, and lastly, long term fear causes a sleeping disorder. In addition to severe health consequences, fear and self doubt can prevent you from achieving your goals and dreams that would otherwise bring adventure, fun, unlimited possibilities, having healthy communication skills. All of that is prevent it because you are constantly in a fear of being. Rejected not good enough and all this other stuff, or at least perceived realities that are not true. Now, fear also prevents you from having healthy relationships due to fear of abandonment and rejection. Having, having healthy self-esteem due to fear of rejection and failure and not being good enough, having. It prevents you from having healthy social skills due to fear of rejection and certainly low self-esteem and social anxiety. Do you see where I'm going with this? Um, it prevents you from living a life that is unique and authentic to you because you have to realize that you were born where you are in life. You have made choices. That is fine. Whether that be good or. But the divine and the fact, the divine fact, and the truth is that your purpose in life is to be love, to give love and to achieve love, achieve oneness with the universe. Your existence here has many purposes. You might not see it, but you have a reason to be. And it doesn't matter. The point of life is to, to experience the joy of why you're here. In other words, to experience, take joy and bliss and, and, uh, take pleasure in uncertainty. Meaning not knowing what's gonna happen. The point of life is to experience pure joy. So. Not knowing what the future holds is actually very adventurous. It really is. It's I'm not like coaching you right now. This is no life coach, but it's the truth. How many of you would like to watch a movie that you, um, that is constantly exactly the same and you know, that every movie will end with a very happy ending and, um, and you're. What will exactly happen in your life? So there's no joy in that. There's no adventure in that. There's no magic in that the point of human experience and soul experience is, uh, the soul's job is to evolve and expand and become love. And the humans' job is to experience and choose love and be love and to achieve love and to give love. And it's the only way you will be gifted through by universe, by the universe with all of its divine, divine guides, divine, uh, Supreme energies. You will be gifted, gifted everything, your heart, your soul desires. And you have, you are equipped with that ability to achieve anything you wish to place your mind, your heart, your body, and soul to so overcome this fear or all these fears so that you can become aligned. With your purpose purposes, with your goals, with your passion, with your desires to experience pure joy. Now, um, we are finished here and so just so you know, I have created many, many, many, many, many, many, many activities. Guide, they're all guided. So, uh, for you to overcome fear, accept, change, and to flow in life and so that you can heal yourself properly, completely, deeply and permanently. So thank you. Thank you so much for being here. This has been a, a very long session. Nevertheless, a very valuable one, at least I think so. and so I wanna thank you for being here. I'm your host. Sadika Skyler. If you have enjoyed this session, please do subscribe. If you wish. Um, I would love to connect with you. If you have any questions or concerns, please do connect with me. I am your host again. Sediqa Schuyler with heal myself.life podcast at quantumhelist.com. Thank you. And remember that you are your only limit.